I think I am Depressed

We hear this quite often from our family members or friends and it is almost a part of our normal day to day conversation. When people say to you that they “feel depressed” or they are “in depression”, we tell them that it is not a big deal. That they can get over it, only if they try to get busier or take up a hobby, or forget about it. We even hear people say that there is no such thing as depression, it’s just a “phase” and they will get over it.

It is so important to understand that people do not choose depression! It is not something that they wake up with one day. It is building up inside of us each time we face any trauma. It takes months or even years for depression to fully show it’s true colours.

Maybe it started to take its form when your parents forced engineering on you, when your friends made fun of you and left you, when you broke up the first time, when you failed in a very important exam, or when your partner treated you like trash.

Depression is the collective trauma that you went through in your life which went unresolved because you could not show how you were actually feeling. You could never speak about it because at that time it didn’t seem like a big deal, but now you do not know what to do when it is hitting in your face. Now, you can not seem to bring the energy in you to get out of your bed, you aren’t even sleeping, but you are too tired to get up and take a shower. You don’t feel like eating, or you are eating too much. You feel numb and unable to understand what is happening to you. Maybe you are  crying a lot and seem to always be on edge.

With trembling hands you want to call someone for help but you don’t, instead you lie on the bathroom floor, crying and trembling. You want to tell someone that you need help, but you cannot because you don’t know if they will judge you or not. It makes you feel like you are alone in this and the world is against you. Depression is real and it can get the best out of a person. It makes you feel like you are in a constant loop.

While therapy and medication are the best options to treat depression, not many people are able to gather the courage to seek help. They suffer in silence and are apprehensive about counselling.

For those people, till you fathom the courage to seek help, there are some things that can help you for a short while :

  • Think if you have a safety net – Reach out to people whom you can trust, and share your pain with. It may be your friends or cousins who can give you a sense of relief. You do not have to share your complete story with them if you don’t want to, just seek some support emotionally.
  • As soon as you get up, make your bed – It may seem like a trivial thing to do, but doing this one small task will encourage you to do other small tasks like, brushing your teeth or taking a shower. A clean bed will also make you want to sleep in it. Try it, it will surely make a difference.
  • Try Positive Affirmations – Watch the way you talk to yourself, it matters a lot. We are never conscious of how we speak to ourselves but it makes a big difference because in depression we are constantly telling ourselves things like:- “I am worthless”, “I will never get things right”, “I don’t matter to anybody”, “I am a burden”. Instead, try “I am loved”, “I am confident”, “I am doing my best”, “I am worthy” etc.
  • Change your language towards yourself – It’s a lot of work and takes conscious effort, but it’s life-changing. Like:- “ I feel worthless right now, but I know that is not true”, “ I feel like a failure right now but that doesn’t mean I am a failure, I will try again”. Being compassionate towards yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. Be there for yourself.
  • Keep a tab on what kind of content you are consuming on social media – If you are constantly feeding yourself with content that makes you feel less loved, inferior, or even more low emotionally, then you need a social media cleanse. Change the kind of content you see and read. Unfollow accounts that are triggering. If it helps, even go off social media for a while to give yourself a short detox.
  • When you are feeling a certain emotion strongly, acknowledge your emotions – Allow yourself to feel that emotion. Eg, If you feel extremely sad and on the verge of crying, then do not stop yourself. Let it happen to you, feel your emotion and stay with it. When you allow yourself to feel, you will be able to drain that emotion out of your system. Otherwise it will stay somewhere in your body like a rotting apple.

While there are hundreds of other things that you can do, these are some that you can try if you are suffering in silence.

Remember that your Depression is REAL but, that doesn’t mean that you cannot come out of it. Because if Depression is real, so is your strength!

Yes, it will take effort and it won’t be easy, but the outcome will be worth it! And I know you can do it!

You are a true warrior!

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