The Impact of Coronavirus on Your Marriage – Enlightenfy / A way of Life / Mental Health Community

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A lot of has been said about COVID-19 and its impact on children, the elderly, and your health. Undeniably, life, death, and financial upheavals are of prime concern during this pandemic. However, another pressing question that stands is ‘if the death of people is the only prey of this virus’?

Currently, the reports of domestic violence have shot up significantly and there has been a threefold increase in divorce queries after the Janta curfew was announced in India on 22nd March 2020. Matrimonial lawyers and legal advisories claim to be flooded with calls from new clients.

This raises a dilemma with a flood of questions! The first one being, What exactly is happening?

Is it that the lockdown was acting as an impetus, wherein, couples that would’ve eventually gotten divorced anyhow are simply taking that stand sooner?

Is it that couples who were happy and would’ve remained that way are being ripped apart by this extensive time together with no outlet?

If so, wasn’t quarantine like a virus in itself, killing marriages that otherwise were healthy to live?

Another question is WHY? Why have divorce rates spiked at this time? What exactly did this quarantine have to do with your marriage?

In a way, to be confined in the same house with one another is pretty much what you sign up for when you agree to get married. What then could be causing tiffs and fights?

Well, staying home to stay safe together puts a magnifying glass on your marriage. With no other distractions of meeting your friends and extended family, you are bound to focus a lot on this relationship. Having said that, if your bond has been thick and reciprocal, this phase will be like a cakewalk. Breezy and comfortable! Leaving you with more things to be grateful for and more strength to pass this storm of uncertainty.

But, If your relationship has been at the edge, then the negative experiences and conversations spurt like the cases of coronavirus.

As easy as this looks to delineate, another question is ‘what happens to people in the middle?’

People whose marriages aren’t too good or too bad, just hanging somewhere in the middle.

I guess here, vigilance is the key!

You got to pay attention to what you say, what you do and where you step. One step wrong or right can go a long way here.

This explains that a sudden hike in divorce queries is caused by a blend of both; some divorces were inevitable and had to happen while some of the quarantine divorces were instigated solely due to this tormenting situation and never would’ve happened otherwise!

Let’s break this down into steps to understand better. Say, for instance, you’ve had a long day at home. You slept late the previous night, woke up early as your child had a morning virtual class and you had to prepare the breakfast before that or maybe because you had an early virtual meeting. You finish that meeting to see that the breakfast table still has all the dirty plates. So, you feel angry and exhausted with a sense that you are single-handedly managing the entire house. So what do you do?

Well, you yell! It could sound like “Am I the only one expected to keep this place clean?”, “You never help with…….”, “Why can’t you clean your mess at least?”, “If nothing, at least acknowledge me for what all I am doing for you!!”

I am sure some of these sound familiar to you! These are some of the conversations that a couple may have in usual days as well. However, at any other time, if you have stressors, you also have stress busters. So to say, you may go out for a good dinner, a movie, or just take a small vacation or a weekend getaway! These things help you to unwind and retain composure. But, with social isolation and the need to stay home, most of you may be regressing, i.e; you may be functioning a bit less maturely than when you were out and about. You sleep later, get up later, are lacking a discipline with food, your schedule, exercise, leisure time and whatnot. You feel more anxious about your financial condition, more angry, agitated, and even more likely to withdraw! For some, this problem can escalate to disharmony or even worse, abuse! Having no vent to your pent up emotions, you may amplify and extend each argument. And eventually, the arguments spread to even the most mundane things like which show to watch or what to eat for lunch/dinner.

Another factor talks about the powerful role of battling mental illness, say anxiety, on one’s marriage at this time. Take, for instance, you are someone who already has major anxiety issues which are now provoked by the additional fears regarding your finance, health, safety and security. At loss of your ability to cope with it, your anxiety continues to grow and destructs your marriage. This is so because, as someone anxious, you would always be fearing the unknown, overestimating the threat and underestimating your ability to cope with it. Your anxiety then stimulates anger and irritation, leaving you with a desire to isolate yourself momentarily from your partner and have some time by yourself. However, you both are locked in the same house together and have no time off, so you’d end up displacing your anxious thoughts, anger, and turmoil on your partner.

The good part is, if you’re resilient and put a little effort, you will come across the other side just fine or even stronger than before in your relationship. However, if you’re on the drowning side of the ship, the chances are that this will be the point where your ship will sink.

The important question now is,

IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT?

To know more, click below!