The Incessant Race

My clients have been reporting feeling guilty and worthless for not being ‘productive enough’. Since the pandemic, social media has become a space of a virtual competition. Someone is into fitness, someone is into creativity, someone has completed a number of trainings, and someone has had a number of client conversions.

A 27 year old female client told me that,“I have not even tried to make dalgona coffee yet. I am a loser for sure!”I asked her,“Do you like coffee?” She said, “I hate it, but thats not the point. The point is I haven’t even done ‘that much!” .

Well, if you resonate with her and just nodded your head, this article is for you!

We as a generation are respected if we are multitaskers. Who wants to be a mono-tasker anymore? However, in this race of being ahead of the clan, are we losing our authentic selves? Have we lost the ability to say that, “I wont make a dalgona as I like chai”? Have we forgotten the meaning of pause? Has this pandemic become a productivity challenge for us?

A lot of clients tell me that while they are procrastinating, anxious thoughts keep running in the back of their heads. They aren’t able to chill really. I understand there are a lot of pressures to perform and we are putting in the hard work to do so. However, how many of us have actually paused and just seen how much have we achieved?

Here is a list of 10 tips that can help you pause, reflect and focus on your personal goals:

  1. Morning Ritual this could be a time wherein you are just in the ‘here and now’. A time of the day where you can truly ‘just’ sip your cup of coffee and enjoy the silence. You can create a morning ritual as you’d It’s your personal ritual and no rules here.
  2. Morning Pages this means just writing your feelings and emotions before you start your day. A lot of emotions and thoughts are carried onto the next day by us. Writing emotions as the first ritual in the morning can be an excellent way of starting your day afresh. You may think that by doing this your day would start on a bad note. However, I personally feel that it can be a great start to the day as you have vented out and the day can finally begin on a fresh note! It also gives you some idea on how you can plan your day. Your emotions now duly acknowledged and parked gives you the right mind space to work!
  3. Scheduling it not only helps in telling you what to do and when to do it, but also when to not do anything and just enjoy a break.
  4. Pause Ritual pause means a temporary break. It does not mean take a break from work to complete the household chores. It means to just pause. Yes, just pause. You can also focus on some self-care during that time. Maybe like having your favourite beverage while looking at the birds.
  5. Journaling this can be a great source of venting out and a great source of respecting all your emotions. It gives perspective and it’s a non-judgmental space (Double bonus)!
  6. Achievements of the Day A student told me the other day that,“I keep sleeping. I don’t do anything”. When we created a behaviour scheduling chart for her, a cumulative of 2.5 hours household work came across that she engages in on a daily basis. Another client shared that due to the work from home being the new normal, her manager does not recognise the work she does. When I asked her to share her achievements since morning, she said she’s done so much that she does not remember. We are working and contributing even more now as the responsibilities have increased. Hence, keeping a tab is extremely essential now. Everyday, write three achievements and I am telling you, it may seem like a task in the beginning, but is going to be an amazing practice.
  7. Closure Ritual due to our busy schedules, we often find ourselves thinking about work or find ourselves replying to emails post work. This has become especially true now that the work and rest boundaries are blurred. This ritual can involve anything that marks an end to your work and work related concerns. E.g. writing a to-do list can help you in easing your anxious thoughts while also ensuring that your guilt for not completing tasks is in check.
  8. Gratitude sometimes in the pursuit of happiness, if we pause and just be happy, it works. It allows you to take a break from the hustle and just be.
  9. Mindfulness this practice allows us to be in the ‘here and now’. It serves as a reminder that thoughts are opinions, not facts and that not all thoughts need an action.
  10. Self-care it is not selfish. Read that again. A lot of times, taking care of ourselves is understood as not taking care of others. However, you sure can draw a balance and it can work well. Have you traveled on an airplane? The instructions are – “In case of a drop in the oxygen levels, put on the mask first, then help children and others.”

Please take note of the fact that we are in a pandemic. We are all trying to survive. Our struggles are unique and so are our ways of dealing with the same. In a space where we are trying to survive, can you truly thrive? Or rather, should you try to thrive when all you should be doing is focus on how to survive!

I am not advocating that we should not work hard. All I am saying is that….It’s Okay.

It’s okay to not be a multitasker always!

It’s okay to falter!

It’s okay to honour your struggles! and

It’s okay to not be okay!

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Anika kakar
Anika kakar
4 years ago

Very informative thanks 👍👍