Depression is not just feeling low for an hour out of the entire day. It is way more than just something in your mind or something which you can easily overcome with a big tub of ice-cream curling in a blanket kind of a situation. It is not something to be glorified nor is it attractive. Rather, it looks like being on the verge of tears, because you lost your bottle of water. You don’t have the desire to clean up the mess, but you’re falling on the floor and internally screaming as you yourself are in shambles.
It’s feeling comfortable not brushing your hair for weeks at a time. It is a condition where you are constantly battling from one extreme to another, and you are so low that you question the color of the universe time and again. Depression can reach you in your office, your car, at a birthday party, shopping center, or even your home.
Some days may be really good, and you almost feel like you’re getting better. But, the smallest of things, like a look from someone or just a memory, can put you back to the negative side of misery.
People might wonder why you cry? What’s off?
But, the only response you can give is ‘I don’t know, but it’s not new.’ Everyone tries to tell you that things are going to get better … And you almost dream of when would that be. Most days you feel nothing and everything at once. Now that is what depression exactly looks like. The broken real and chaotic self behind the social persona of the most beautiful smiles. Depression is neither simple nor a quick fix.
It’s like you are always reassuring your loved ones that you will be fine soon. If not for yourself then for them. But, when things seem to be too uphill and you slowly lose the strength to climb, all you think about is how your family would be better off without you. Breaking your heart seems an easier way out than continuing to hurt them. Isn’t it?
At the end of the day, depression is not fun, it’s not a child’s play, and it’s definitely not an accessory to add to your personality closet just because you think it’s cool. Depression is a serious condition that affects so many people around the globe, in fact, it is the highest cause of suicide rates amongst any other mental illnesses.
Depression doesn’t just disappear, you don’t suddenly wake up and decide not to feel hopelessly empty. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel weak. You’re not shatterproof, you’re human. You’re allowed to get hurt and feel the emptiness. Savour each tear. Grieve if you have to. Cry your heart out and let the emotional turmoil soak in. Stop pretending. Unmask yourself. Breakdown if you are tired. Get lost in the solitude you’ve been battling inside. You are hurt. ADMIT IT.
Stop pretending that you’re okay for the first time. And let the curve in your face be sadness rather than smiles. Let it all out. Swear if you want. It’s fine. Be miserable. And after you’re over with all this, gather all the courage inside you and talk to someone you trust. Seek professional help, if need be. Slowly you can leave all your pain to the tears you have shed. Carry the memories with you but not the lamenting.
Smile the real smile. Be okay. Be fixable. Be happy. Live and Begin again. You may hate the process but trust me, you will love the results.
This is great!! Insightful.
Yes.. Can identify… Most of us are closet personalities… Will shy away from exposing our vulnerability… We are conditioned and socialised to hide our true emotions.. Time to air them… Accept them first and talk about them as normal as possible.. As freely and openly as if you are talking about a physical ailment… Seek out help… It’s time… You are worth it..
True, well said
Very well written !
One should be strong enough to kill depression…before it kills you .
Thats Great stuti….
That’s great !! I’m speechless ❤?