Being raised in the culture where college life is romanticised and used as a bait to go through years of rigorous learning, I too dreamt of enrolling myself in a fashion college ever since I was in grade 7. Little did I know that life isn’t as glamorous as we idolise it to be. Yet till, standing at the juncture of beginning my second year there, everything almost felt unreal. I felt like I was living my childhood dream. Towards the beginning go the 4th semester, the entire batch was divided into groups of 4 to collaboratively work on our final garment collection. It was a huge year-long project that required hard work and team cooperation to give closure to our graduation. I had made a few new friends in college and signed up myself to work alongside them. Amidst them all, one was dearer. A girl so charming and beautiful, that being a photographer, I loved to take her pictures. In fact, that is how we became friends.

A batchmate warned me that my ‘best-friend’ just valued me because of my photography skills and nothing more. Deeply hurt, I confronted her to know if that was true. Of course, she denied and expressed how she genuinely saw a friend in me. Filled with pride, I went back to my batchmate to tell him how wrong he was and that I didn’t trust him anymore. As we all started working on our project, time-lapsed and we were supposed to apply for a 3-month internship. I was happy to have encountered a true friend and what gave me immense joy was that we both wanted to work in Mumbai. Together, we made vivid plans about everything we wanted to do there and how we would have the time of our lives. It was all perfect. But, when is it that plans work according to you? Do they?

In Mumbai, we both had our own share of hysteric ups and downs. With a multitude of misunderstanding and arguments, those 3 months appeared like a tough time to pass. Unwavering, I dealt with it all. Of course, I loved her, but I also started developing feelings of hate for her. I wanted to let it all out. Confront her, complain about what I felt was wrong, and just blurt out everything without having t filter it. Strangely, something always stopped me from doing so. Maybe it was the attachment I felt to her or the fear of losing her forever. Nonetheless, dwindling like a pendulum between feelings of love and hatred, I could barely be okay with what was happening. I felt agitated, irritated, and helpless too.

With no one to turn to, I went to my batch mate who had warned me earlier about her. I apologised for not believing in him and told him everything about what all I went through. He acknowledged my feelings and gave me a reassurance that I could always count on him. We came close and began exchanging texts about my so-called ‘best friend’ and how she treated me. Although nothing was the same anymore, being friends with him gave me hope and happiness.

Within no time we completed our 5th semester and were taken to Kutch, Gujarat for an educational trip. There I saw a 360-degree change in everyone’s behaviour. All my friends began ignoring me and I felt lonely throughout the trip. It all seemed like a huge mistake. I was clueless as to why I was being treated the way I was. Sometime later, I saw a WhatsApp message pop-up on my best friend’s phone. It was a group chant which had all my friends but me. Strangely enough, I saw my batchmate who was at the time, my go-to person and the most reliable friend, hanging out all t often with my group mates. They hated one another, yet were together. Still, I was comfortable with everything until my batch mate began to completely ignore me. I felt dejected and abandoned.

Sulking from within, I watched YouTube videos to understand how I could cope with the situation. I was lost and craved for a way to feel home. A few days later, one of my friends from the group handed me her phone to play some music. Desperate to unravel what had been cooking behind my back, I checked her WhatsApp. What was to come was shattering for me. I found out that their WhatsApp group was named on me and they all posted my pictures there, cracked jokes on me, and even used foul language to talk about me. What shook me was that the boy I trusted the most was a part of this group too. This is when I felt like I had a breakdown. I began to question everything. All I wanted to know was what wrong I did to deserve such brutal behaviour.

Rather than sitting on these feeling which felt like lava, I confronted each one of them only to hear that I was no different. I too talked about them behind their back. No, she wasn’t wrong in saying so. But, it still felt wrong. That not, on whom I placed all my trust ganged up with them and possibly showed all our personal chats. It all felt like a well-thought-of trap. Almost a scam. I wish they had asked me to my face like I did, rather than coming together to humiliate and body-shame me. To no avail, I went home and cried like a baby. It was so bad that I could feel like nerves wrenching and eyes crushing.

On calming down a little, I called my school friends and narrated the entire incident. They understood me and comforted me. It was such a breather to be around people who loved me for who I was and valued me. On regaining my sanity, I called up one of my seniors and told her about everything that had happened. Worried what I’d do about my final graduation project that we had been working on for about a year, I felt anxious and out of breath. She encouraged me to come up with my own garment collection. The pressure to do more than a year’s worth of work which had to be ideally completed by a team of 4 within 3 months, not all seem like a tall promise, but it was made me feel more anxious.

It was around this time when my school friends and seniors stepped up to support me and make me see within me a potential that I failed to acknowledge at the moment. They helped me see through that it was about my future and I had to push through to ensure that my name wasn’t up against theirs on my life’s first-ever garment collection. I felt motivated and determined to come up with a unique concept and complete the project in time no matter what. Meanwhile, as I strived to persevere, my ex-group mates would gather around and mock me whenever they spotted me in an empty class. Regardless, I didn’t give in.

With sheer handwork, self-care, acceptance, and support from my friends, I could finally make a collection of my own in just 3 months. I was elated and above all, proud of myself. This made me believe that whatever happens, is for our own good. It was due to this incidence, that I learnt some of the most important lessons of my life as yet. I understood that as much as I crave good company and genuine bonds, I am enough. I got my back. It’s right to put it like ‘I no more need people. I just want them in my life’. And this makes a huge difference. I learnt that it takes the courage to breakdown to re-build a better version of yourself. I feel like a better person now, more resilient and independent. Also, I learnt the value of having a dialogue. Words have tremendous power if we use them to be our ally. And, not to forget my most important lesson – to never body shame anyone. Being on the other side of the table is ugly and brutal. No one deserves to be shamed for how they look. Period. Speaking of other people’s appearances and passing judgements speaks more about our character than theirs. It’s time we understand that what’s inside is more important than what we see on the outside. If only we could see the souls right?

Дизайн казино Космолот вразить кожного

Передовий елегантний дизайн cosmolot реєстрація натхненний сучасними провідними соціальними мережами та платформами розповсюдження. Це сучасний, захоплюючий, чудовий і красивий ігровий сайт.

Космолот використовує найсучасніші технології для простоти використання та призначений для гравців, яким потрібні швидкі та захоплюючі розваги. Більше ніяких повільних завантажень!